Okay…what is next on the list of strange things I need to get?? After searching on the internet I find that I now have pink eye or conjunctivitis. GREAT!! This is turning out to be some grotesque game of weird and strange diseases I can get before I go into surgery. I thought only kids got pink eye but thanks to my now totally expanded knowledge on the subject I know that there are different kinds of conjunctivitis and it’s not just for kids! Oh wow!! I’m going to call the doctor now to get an appointment because it says you need to on the internet and the internet never lies…right??

Ya know I was just staring at my title and this blog seems to nothing about literature. Okay I will work on that today. I think I will post one of my papers that I wrote and that maybe give this a "literary" fix it needs.

Surgery, woodpeckers, and Colin Firth

I am no longer under quarantine! I do not have swine flu…but rather some other insidious creeping crud. With a five-day burst of prednisone under my belt getting the asthma issues under control and some serious nose blowing I am feeling like I might live for the next knee replacement surgery that is scheduled on June 3rd. This time I will have the time to get the house cleaned and laundry caught up and the fridge stocked with the delicious dinner-in-a-box selection from my local frozen food aisle and a butt load of my mainstay of diet coke.

I woke up very early this morning with the sounds of the many birds that all seem to be so thrilled to death that it is morning! It is funny to hear them be so vocal so early then as the sun comes up and it gets lighter they quiet back down: All that is except the woodpeckers. They never seem to loose steam when pecking away for food! It is kind of like when you need chocolate and desperately search the cupboards and fridge for some long forgotten candy bar or anything for that matter. That is how I found the last bag of microwave popcorn last week!

This morning after I shower and wash my hair I am off to the grocery store to stock up on more snacks and food then I plan a little trip off to the library to exchange my videos for some new ones. I think by that time I should be ready to go horizontal again and spend the afternoon in video land. I have the Bridget Jones Diaries movies in this batch and I am looking forward to these again. I first watched these for a class as it is interesting how the excerpts from her diary shows up in the movie as marquees and messages on her computer. It is like the words she wrote are haunting her reality. Through the first movie you suspect that her diary writing and reality are not in the same hemisphere. But that makes these particular movies funny as the viewer does see that poor Bridget does get a grip and a man (Colin Firth) in the end!

Flying Pigs

Did someone say that will happen when pigs fly? Swine flew...or flu?

Being chased by flying pigs.

I traveled to the doctor yesterday only to find that I may in fact be a statistic in the pandemic of swine flu. With an awful swab stuck up both nostrils and rubbed around then sent off to our local Health Department for testing. Now to sit in isolation for the next few days while it gets tested and I am phoned with the results.

In the mean time I sit here and I am running out of my stock pile of diet coke and that is the most important food commodity there is here in the literary life house! How I am I expected to continue with ready and watching videos without a cold diet coke at my side? Life is going to insurmountable!!

Is it the flu or Swine Flu?

As I lay in bed with the over whelming urge just to stay there and be a lump in the middle of the bed! The last four days I have been plagued by a headache, sore throat, congestion, coughing, sneezing, asthma issues due to the congestion. Oh and the hair!! I am suffering from some serious bed head and my head hurts too much to even think about brushing it…not that would make any difference. I don’t have the strength to get into the shower and wash it. Right now the only time I emerge from the pod status is to go to the bathroom or to heat and consume a “dinner-in-a-box” that my freezer is stocked full of since the surgery.

Although I am dedicated to getting my annual flu shot I still lay there and wonder if there was a component of the swine flu in that shot. With the news full of the rapidly spreading epidemic I lay there and just hope that I have been vaccinated enough to not be getting the swine flu. I have been bothered by my susceptibility to get most anything that seems to be going around that I have been vaccinated against whooping cough, pneumonia, as well as hepatitis A/B. Pretty much if there is a vaccine out there I have been vaccinated with it! I am not taking any chances! And still here I am home sick!

Well I have had two cups of tea, some toast, and of course the hand full of my regular medications, and read my favorite blogs and updated my own blog and now I am ready to return to the pod position in the middle of my bed with the trusty TV remote in my hand. So now I am padding off to the world of my videos and sleep.

Happy May Day

Not much to say today, I have not been feeling well and with the news filled with Swine Flu updates I am just hoping that I have just a cold and not the swine flu. I sometime wonder if my annual flu shot included the swine variation or not. Still feeling blue about my situation and with a possible surgery on the horizon. Now with the added illness it makes things even harder to cope with. But I press on and head back to my bed for more resting.

Rain is forcasted for this May 1st but it doesn't seem to be on its way: It is bright and sunny out side and a nice spring breeze is rippling the window curtains. The fresh air is very nice and a pleasure to breath in the cool freahness of outside.

I am thinking of gathering up some of my tulips that are in bloom to bring in to my bedside to cheer me up a bit. Tulips are doing wonderfully this year.

I woke this morning after having a terrible dream. That led me to Google to see what the deeper meaning of the troublesome dream was all about. I found a site that had a dream dictionary that looked promising to discovering the meaning. Quoting from the website I found.

“By understanding your dreams, you will gain a better perspective on your life. We realize that your dreams are unique. No other individual can have your background, your emotions, or your experiences. Every dream is connected with your own “reality.” Thus, in interpreting your dreams it is important to draw from your personal life and experiences. Remember that a dream unifies the body, mind, and spirit. It provides you with insight into our selves and a means for self exploration.”

Okay that sounds pretty reasonable and not some flakey existential BS. Then I found what the most significant part of my dream. That being that people I considered as friends were stealing things that I needed to use everyday and multiple times in a day. When I couldn’t find what I needed it was very distressing and that launched me into a search for the lost items.

Stealing: to dream that you are stealing, denotes that you are deprived and where the stealing takes place (at home, the office, at school…) is indicative of your neediness. Alternatively, it may signify unrealized and unfulfilled goals. You may have set your goals too high.

Lose: To dream that you lose something may mean that you really have misplaced something that you had not realized yet. It may also be a signal for you to clean out and reorganize your life. You have become overwhelmed and distracted with the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life.

On a symbolic note, losing things in your dream may signify lost opportunities, past relationships or forgotten aspects of yourself. Your personal associations to the thing you lose will clue you into the emotional meaning and interpretation of your dream.

Now that I have a different perspective on the troublesome dream: What I have learned form this search has left me still unsettled with the feelings that I experienced. How do you have a normal day when you are awakened by some significantly worrisome thoughts? The unsettling ideas that creep into your mind and distort ones thinking as to make yourself the martyr of the life you lead. Great, another day that I have to work and changing my thinking patterns. It seems to be a problem that has resurfaced since the knee replacement surgery. This old problem for some reason resurfaced just days after surgery and left me in tears all day long in my hospital room. With no one to comfort me … no one to visit me as I laid there alone crying to myself with the feeling of total helplessness is overwhelming and hard to bear.

I guess this is all on my mind as I am scheduling the second knee replacement surgery for June. I guess I am worried that I will again be overwhelmed by those feelings and that maybe behind the strange dream of last night. That again I will be left alone in the hospital and this never bothered me in any of the other surgeries but this time it all seems very different. I know this time what I am going to be experiencing and I am even more fearful of this next surgery that I was of the last one. As I still am being pushed aside and told I must move by my Bishop. The message is clear that I am no longer wanted as a member of this ward and community. Instead of the warm feelings of support and welcome I feel the cold hard shove on my back to move away. That I no longer serve as a useful member of this ward and now are a burden to the members and I have worn out my welcome in this ward. It is not an easy pill to swallow that has been forced upon me. When I need to have friends and comfort around I have been shown the door and it has been slammed in my face! Visions of any one of the many Dickens novels comes to my mind! I guess that is part of living a Literary Life. You start seeing your situations in novels of others. They may give me an understanding of how to proceed with the rest of my life from here. But this is quite a different century and I am not a character in anyone’s novel: who would write such a story as mine? Not even Dickens would tackle such a woeful tale!

HAPPY EASTER

Today remember what this day signifies to the Christian world. It is not just the very public crucifixion but also the very private suffering in Gethsemane and the resurrection; breaking the bonds of death that we may all live again in out Lord’s presence.